When the addict says "i want to change" do they really mean it? When they say "I'm sorry baby it wont happen again" or even "I'm tired of this lifestyle, I want to get my life straight" Are they serious or delusional?
There is only so many times you can hear these phrases before you realize they dont mean it. Maybe they do deep in their heart, maybe they even want to but they dont know where to start. Whatever it may be, at some point you must let it go in one ear & out the other to protect yourself. There is a saying, & I have learned its best to live by it; "FooL me once, shame on YOU but FooL me twice, Shame on ME!".
I believed D when we first started talking when he said he wanted to get clean & wanted a normal life with me. I was so gullible to his lies. At the end of my stay with him I remember him telling me " I dont want to change, I like getting High!". Hearing that literally broke me. I use to be the person to give people the benifit of doubt but not anymore.
Your actions speak louder than your words. Knowing now what I learned about an addicts lifestyle, I would never allow myself to believe those type phrases again. I say, "You get from Life what you put into it" therefore, if your doing bad things, your going to have bad outcomes. There are alternatives & every actions there are reactions.
I wish I knew what was his true intentions. I wish I could see inside his mind, his thoughts just long enough to know for sure how he really feels.
Knowing, or feeling like I was simply USED, yeah that feeling kinda sux.
No comments:
Post a Comment