Coping

After all the drama I had around Mother's day, I had an appointment with my therapist, in which I was given some "tools" to help me cope with 'people that want to control certain aspects of my life' I have in fact been able to use these tools and have found that they work very well!

It's amazing how simple rules like: walking away or removing certain people from your life & learning to disengage from argumentative conversations can make such a difference. I have been able to put myself around a certain person without even speaking to them, as a matter of fact I have not made eye contact either. Even at times, when this person was in the same room as me - they attempted to answer questions I had asked someone else, I simply ignored their reply and walked out of the room. Even still, I have not kept my children from the person (even after my therapist stated "if i were you, there is no way in hell I would allow my children around her") She has the ability to call the kids, she knows where we live, and even is listed as an authorized pick up person at the daycare center we are using for the summer. Yet, she chooses not to.

I am by no means a perfect person, I've never claimed to be. I just know that what I feel is the right thing to do is not always going to be what someone else thinks is the right thing to do. My opinions are in fact MINE and mine alone. I have the right to express my opinion, but I will never try to persuade someone into agreeing with me just because I do not understand them. Too often people will judge others negatively based on a simple "lack of understanding" and in return will miss out on some very important life lessons.

The way I see it . . . .

I live my life the way I see fit - some may like my lifestyle, others may not. I don't tell others how to live their lives and therefore I expect the same RESPECT for letting me live MY LIFE as I choose.

Therapy for My SouL

I've started going to therapy again. I have had a lot on my mind lately and no one to really talk to about it, well, no one that I feel like wouldn't judge me, and I needed someone to LISTEN and direct my thoughts in a more positive direction, not someone that would hear me out then tell me how they would do my life differently.

As soon as I sat down in her office and she asked me what was going on my mind went blank! I couldn't remember why I made the appointment to begin with but then it happened, the filter between my brain and my mouth vanished. Everything that has bothered me in the past year was trying to get out. There were moments when all my thoughts were trying to escape at once causing me to freeze but I managed to just push aside the things that were not that important and I continued to pour out my soul.

I love my psychologist, it's her JOB to be understanding, but it feels so good to have someone I can talk to that truly understand why I feel the way I do about things. The best thing about talking to her is, she doesn't tell me I am WRONG for feeling or thinking the way I do. She also is able to help me view things with a different perspective.

From this particular session, I learned something very significant about myself. When she brought this to my attention I was shocked, even in denial at first but moments later it began to make perfect sense. Sometimes, the way we are raised plays a huge part in how we determine what is right or wrong in our adult life.

Children that are raised by parents that work hard for what they have more than likely will become adults that don't like to ask for help, even in bad times. Children that are born into a poverty stricken family may grow up never wanting to settle, always wanting more. Children raised by parents that don't try to work to provide for their family and have excuses for why things are so bad may end up with a 'poor pitiful me' attitude and will always play the victim card so people will pity them and help them instead of them standing on their own feet and doing for themselves. Children raised around physical abuse may grow up to think that just b/c their husband doesn't cheat on them, or doesn't hit them means they are a perfect man.

People have told me I should stop blaming my parents for me being how I am but who else is to blame for the type of person we become? Is that not our purpose for being parents, to mold our children, teaching them right from wrong and giving them the tools they need to survive the real world. You can't take back years of teachings, so how do we change who we are as adults if we are not happy with the way we turned out? I have several views that were automatically placed in my core that I didn't realize were there that I MUST change.

The way I see it . . . Change is never easy, but if what your doing isn't getting you where you want to be then CHANGE IS INEVITABLE!