A Real Life Issue

I am honestly on the fence about writing this one. I have opened up my life for everyone with my blog so I figure why hold this back. Maybe there are other women out there going through this same thing and either we can learn from each other or at the least know that we are not alone.

My life is always changing in some way so there is always some type of stress I am dealing with. For years I have dealt with depression either in my own way of ignoring it or taking medications, struggled with weight gain and marital problems. All of these issues have had an affect on my sex drive. ( I think )

When my relationship was new, I did not have any of these problems. After childbirth came weight gain, after weight gain came depression, and amid all of this there were problems in my marriage and thus my sex life has been below average. Of all the things my hubs and I have overcome, the topic of our sex life is a very sore subject.

We have had our ups and downs, but this past year we have learned a lot about getting through the hard times and learning about patience and understanding, but we still are not on the same page about our sex life. Hubs says I should want sex more and I say he should just be thankful for what he gets. He takes it to heart and makes it very personal, saying I don't want 'him' and that is not it at all. This makes me feel ashamed, and it makes my heart hurt - for him - because I do love him very much.

I am at a point to where we have had this issue for so long that I am desperate to find out what is wrong with me. I KNOW it is something wrong with me. He is a good looking man. He is a great lover. He is a wonderful father. He is an Amazing provider. As he says, Any woman would be grateful to have him.

I am making an appointment with my doctor. Maybe my hormones are out of whack. Whatever the issue may be, I hope to get it resolved soon so that my hubs doesn't loose all interest in me.

The way I see it:    No matter how bad you want something, some things about your body you just can't control.