I have had another round of writers block, until something happened that annoyed me to the point I felt the need to blog it out. So, here is me venting out my annoyance.
So many things in life are not fair. We fix the things we can control and forget about the things we cant. When I left Jamie in October I had my mind set on so many things about my marriage that I was tired of just dealing with or forgetting about because I couldn't fix or change them. When Jamie took me back we had a discussion about how we didn't want certain things to go back the way they were before. We agreed that we would work on things and so this leads up to where I am today.
I was suppose to come back home a changed person, a better person, for him and for my kids and yet I feel like nothing has changed. Even Jamie says I am still the same person I was before I left. I am not the only one. Jamie is still doing things that he did in the past that annoy me.
Why do men think that its not a job to be a stay at home mom? I stay home everyday, I don't go visit friends, and hardly ever go visit family. When I say I need a break, to get away from the kids, I'm told "Didn't you just go to Zumba the other day?", Really? Seriously? Ok, whatever, I let it go. Another thing, when I first got home Jamie would get furious when I wanted to plan to go visit my friends without him. I remember my best friend Lisa invited me to come watch her perform in a burlesque show at a local bar and Jamie had a fit about it and I ended up not going. . . why? He said we should be spending time together and not going places without the other. Ok, so we are working on our marriage, its understandable. Well, Last weekend my new favorite band SKILLET was playing at Alabama Adventure to which I bought VIP season passes so I could go watch concerts for free and yet I was told I couldn't go because he was working day shift and had to get to bed for work. Ok, I was annoyed a little but I got over it. Now here comes the reason I am so annoyed.
Last week, Jamie made plans to go fishing with a friend early one morning, without me and without asking me how I felt about it. I was happy for him to go, he has been working alot of hours and alot of days so he deserved it. However, tonight is my boiling point. His friends made plans for them to go out to hooters to eat and hangout. When we discussed it at first we talked about us going as a family, until I found out none of the other wives were going so I decided to stay home, besides, it was just them meeting up to eat and have a drink. Jamie was even on a budget since we had went out alot this week. The part that irritates me is how he has been at hooters since 5pm and its 9:43 right now and he is still not home, AND he has to be at work in the morning. Do you get it now?
It isn't ok for me to go out with my friends, and it isn't ok for me to go anywhere when he has to go to work the next morning, but its ok for him?
Am I wrong to be upset by this? I don't think so. Should I put up with being treated this way? I don't think so. SO, what do I do? Some things are never going to change and so here I am in the same position I was last year dealing with the same issues and have no clue what to do because obviously talking about them and discussing them does no good.
so much for venting, I'm still aggravated.
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