Enough is never Enough

Every day began and ended the same way. Each morning I would be woken up by someone banging on the door, or window trying to get in the apartment. They were looking for everything and anything. The long list included: to see if D was home, to get something to eat, to use a phone, to get a shower, to ask for a ride somewhere, ask for a cigarette, and so on.

 It was usually the same people in and out every day, mostly D's family members. There would be the occasional friend that would stop by looking for D but for the most part it was the same family members in and out on a daily basis. Around lunch time the traffic would be gone and things would be somewhat peacefull. However, by 5 o'clock every evening the apartment would become popular again. Everyone that actually had a job would be getting off work and most of them were able to borrow money from the boss man and therefore they needed to spend it.

For all the running around I did I should have charged by the mile and for gas. I spent most of my afternoons running the roads back and forth to the store for D's family members and then back and forth with D for him to get high. Once was never enough, once he did his $20 worth he always begged me to take him "one more time for one more hit" but as long as the money was there He never Stopped.   The only thing that stopped him is when either the money or the drugs ran out.

I dont understand how so many people overdose and yet I sat and watched D do all different kinds of drugs, mixing them and doing them over and over.  It's really sad to know that he doesnt have a stopping point. There was never enough anything, even I wasn't enough. Nothing I did for him was enough to make him stop loving the drugs more than he loved me.