As life moves on and I get older, I've found my memory is not as sharp as it used to be. There are times I will be having a conversation with someone, and they bring up something that happened many years ago, but I am unable to recall this memory. Luckily there are more times than not that my memory gets jarred and it all comes rushing back to me. That is both scary and exciting to experience. It's for this reason I want to write again, about my life, what I've experienced and how I think and feel about the trials and tribulations thrown my way. I think it will be good for my children as they grow into adulthood to look back on my life choices and hopefully see the errors and know which paths to avoid as well as to find hope and faith for whatever struggles they might have to face. Now that I am a grandmother, knowing all too well how quickly life will pass by, I also look forward to knowing my current and any future grandchildren can come to my blog and learn more about their Gigi. Family history is important to know and unfortunately gossip spreads false information more quickly than anything. I'd rather everyone hear from me what happened and how I handled things and to know my intentions and feelings.
So lets dive in where I left off. Transitioning from getting a divorce to moving out and moving on...
Divorce papers were filed, I moved out and I felt more excited than scared which was the complete opposite of what I expected. I chose an apartment so that I wouldn't have to worry with maintenance or yard work since for all of my adult life thus far I had a husband - a man of the house, to handle all those tasks. It was such a peaceful feeling knowing I left work every day to go home to a place that was mine. It felt empty for a while, as it took time to find furniture and for a few months I slept on an air mattress. You'd think I would have wanted the peace and quiet and to remain single for a long time after ending a seventeen-year marriage. Nah, after living like roommates for the past three years I was lonely for affection and laughter.
The same day I signed papers, I went home and called my younger sister and asked her to help me create a dating site profile. I think I ultimately made three. Within minutes I was matched with so many prospects I was mind blown. For one, it was way to easy and secondly, I didn't think of myself as attractive. To keep this part of the story short, most of these men were either too young for my maturity level and were only seeking a one-night stands, or the others, for the most part, were secretly in committed relationships. The dating pool at my age was diluted, disgusting and mentally exhausting. I managed to find a few different guys to date, and they were decent guys, but it was the very first guy that followed through with meeting me and taking me out, that captured my heart. Spoiler alert, we are still together today, four and a half years later.
He was guarded, had a troubled past, two young kids with an ex-wife, of whom when he explained his history with her to me, it made him to appear as a walking red flag and I thought surely if I continued with this relationship, she would bring trouble and stress to my life. Yet, I saw something in him, there was potential there for a very long and happy future for us together. He was a gentleman, in the way he would open doors, and reach for my hand and at the end of our dates he didn't make any advances on me. After a few weeks of dating, it was so odd to me that I started wondering if we were walking down a path to be friends only, so I made the first move in for a kiss. Well, obviously knowing we are still together today, you know this turned out to be a great match. We share a lot in common, from music to television and most significantly, food! I say that because this man changed my life by introducing me to so many new foods that I now love. We try to regularly go on dates where it's his pure enjoyment taking me to places, I've never been. He is so thoughtful and considerate like when I randomly mention something I need or something small I wanted for my new apartment; he would go out and buy it. His first purchase for me was a large cast iron skillet. He just reminded me of how I was not impressed with it at first. To my defense I had never really used one to cook anything other than corn bread. That same night he showed me how he uses a cast iron skillet to cook a ribeye steak and oh my gracious let me tell you now, that man cooks a steak better than any restaurant I've tried to this day! In the best ways we complement one another. Where I fall, he lifts me up and where he struggles, I provide a shoulder to lean on. He is so very supportive of me being myself and he genuinely loves me, maybe not the out loud shout from roof tops, post me daily on social media type of love, but the kind that makes sure I feel safe, protected, respected, heard, without judgement. Its a love that I've never felt in this way but I am so very greatful to have found him, and thankful to have the courage to walk beside him during some of his darkest days and encouraged him to not give up and truly have appreciated him for who he is. A wonderful man. Definately not the same man he was in his past, I have the better version of him and he continues to work on improving himself in all aspects of life. I consider myself blessed. We are happy and our home is a place of peace. <3
