Filling in the Gap

I know I have not wrote a new blog post in a really long time, but I really havnt had much to discuss, ok, I havnt had anything to complain about. :) For the first time in my married life, things are so wonderful it's scary! The hubs and I have learned to communicate with one another, we have gained respect for one another, and we have started to be supportive of one another. We are now a TEAM. There is no more I or HE or SHE, it's WE.

Anytime a decision is to be made, we discuss it and agree on the action to take. With the issue of problems I was having with his family members and how they were making a difference between our two daughters, well, that person hasn't been coming around. I personally stopped all non essential communication and surprisingly I think that is what helped that situation the most.


With my children... My oldest, just celebrated her 8th birthday on 9/1 - She is 8 going on 16 :) She was having issues with stealing during the summer. We were told she has a problem with 'impulse control' due to her ADD/ADHD. I also realized that her medication had stopped working during the summer and have since increased her medication milligrams and we are confident this should help with the impulse control disorder.

We signed her up for cheer-leading. This is her second year, she cheered back in 2010 (that was when I left my family). This time around things are going more smoothly. She seems to enjoy it more, which helps.

She now has braces! This is a big adjustment. It is affecting me more than I thought it would. Making sure she brushes them correctly is annoying to me but the results are amazing. AFTER ONLY 24hours this is what happened!

My youngest, the baby, she is about to turn 4yrs old this coming Tuesday, 9/25.  She is taking gymnastics at her pre-school one day a week for an hour & my mother in law signed her up for dance class (ballet/tap) one day a week. She says she LOVES gymnastics but she says she don't like Dance LOL :)

With ME....I've been at my job for 8 months and I still love it very much. I am still through a temp service but hopefully, they will follow through with their promises to have me hired within the company by the first of the year. I am still currently off all medication for my bipolar disorder. I am still uncertain if I believe I am bipolar. I do agree I have anxiety issues, but what full time working mother & wife doesnt have anxiety problems? :)

I've lost 50lbs...I started taking diet pills in February and I have been off the pills for about 3 months now & have not gained any weight back but then again I havn't lost any more weight either.  I am ok with that though. I found out that I actually enjoy reading books. I have a wide variety that I like but right now I am OBSESSED with FIFTY SHADES OF GREY! Through this trilogy I have also found a new Vampire addiction "THE VAMPIRE DIARIES" b/c one of it's main characters Damon Salvatore - played by Ian Somerhaulder is HOT HOT HOT & He has said he wants to play the part of Christian Grey in the movie adaptation of the books ;-)  LOVE IT :-)

I want to get back to writing b/c as I feel right this very moment, I LOVE TO WRITE. However, I stay so busy! I get off work, get the kids, stop by grocery store, cook supper, pick up the house a tiny bit while doing homework with the oldest, feed family, give baths, then get everyone ready for bed. Most nights I fall asleep when I am merely "taking a break", having no intention of going to sleep yet I wake up and its time to do it all over again. My weekends are packed as well. Every Saturday my oldest has a game to go cheer for then we are either busy with family/friends birthday parties or we have family things planned for us to enjoy & Sunday is Church Day & REST day.

We have started back going to church again. This time, we have started to attend a church of God. It's a bit different than our normal Southern Baptist, but I felt "at home" from the moment I walked into their doors.

I feel my life is finally going in the right direction, I feel happy with how things are going in my life and I honestly hope that I am continued to be blessed.

THE WAY I SEE IT.........

If you dont feel like there is anything to be gained by my story, your wrong. I see so many people feel like giving up on LIFE when they get 'down in there dumps' but if you go back to where I was in life back between October 2010 through February 2011 and compare that to where I am in my life NOW -

I can give hope to people out there that think THINGS CANT GET BETTER.......BECAUSE IT DID FOR ME!

Born This Way *OR* Taught this way

Becoming pregnant after only four weeks of being with my husband ruled out the possibility for us to really get to know each other and how we felt about certain issues when it comes to raising kids. If there is one piece of advice I could give for my daughters it would be to [Get to know the man in your life before having children with him] because there are things that will arise in your relationship where it is imperative for you to agree on how to handle the situation.  I am not saying I regret my marriage or anything like that, I just wish I had that opportunity to sit down and discuss our beliefs, morals and values that we wanted to make sure to pass along to our children.

For some reason lately I have been thinking about situations with my kids in which my hubs and I have a tendency to disagree. It started with my oldest KENSI giving away her make-up (lip gloss she begged for) that the Easter bunny (me) gave her.

On one hand, i felt proud for her giving it to the little girl that rides the bus with her b/c she is less fortunate than and it is obvious she does without. On the other hand, i was very aggravated that she gave it away the very next day without my permission. This is not the first time she has done this and she did get into trouble the last time. I explained to her that if she wanted to give this little girl something she was to come to me first and get permission. Since I was at work when this event took place, she asked her father for permission to give it to her friend, obviously- he said "it's your make-up to do whatever you want to with it". I was furious! I do NOT agree. If I go out of my way to give my daughters things they ask for, I do not want them to turn around and give it away. I would not go out and buy it for them in the first place if I knew that would have happened.

After having a long conversation about this and many other things, we came to the conclusion that there are several things that we disagree on when it comes to raising our children. One in particular that I am unsure of how will turn out is the possibility of our (tom-boyish) youngest daughter becoming a lesbian. I know in my heart, I would love her just the same. I would be supportive and would stand by her side. The hubs, not so sure. Another, if our daughter wanted to date someone outside her race. This is an absolute big NO NO with MANY of my own family members AS WELL as with my hubs family BUT - I AM NOT RACIST. I have no problem with this issue. As long as my children are happy, healthy, and their significant other treats them with respect and as long as they have a desire to do well in life (college, career, family etc...) I will be supportive in whoever they choose to date.  The hubs, not certain.

SO - who determines what life lessons, morals, values we are to teach our children?

In some ways, I honestly don't think it matters. I know for a fact that you can grow up with a racist family and become a very open minded person (Yes, this is ME) and there are other times when you become just like the family you were raised by, having the same ideas about life and how you should live as if you were born in the 60's. CHILDREN are going to be THEMSELVES, not how WE WANT THEM TO BE.

The way I see it. . . I have certain things I want to make sure my girls are taught regarding Respecting other people and not judging people based on the color of their skin or how they look or even based on their sexual preference - I will teach my children about life 'the way I see it' and just pray they turn out to be Law Abiding citizens that will help the next generation be more open-minded to the FACT that GOD MADE US ALL UNIQUE AND GOD LOVES US ALL JUST THE WAY WE ARE therefore, we should LOVE ONE ANOTHER REGARDLESS

MaD*MaDi

Before & During my last pregnancy I had several conversations with other moms that had 2 or more children regarding the differences between siblings. Most people would explain that their children were complete opposites, which was shocking to me. How could children that share dna with the same parents possibly be so different. Well, as a parent of such two children I dont have the answer to that question yet I know first hand it is possible.

When my oldest Mackensi was a todler I can remember having conversations with my mother in law about how she was not a great baby in the sense that she cried alot & required a lot of attention. As a todler she was very smart, she talked in plain sentences and could carry on conversations with adults with no problem. She was very independant, she wanted to do everything on her own. She was also very cautious. She didnt wander away from me, she didn't like strangers, she was afraid of anything new, anything loud and she was more likely to run away crying when mad instead of getting physical.

My yougest daughter, Madison, was the best baby I have ever seen. The only time you would hear a whimper from her would be if she was hungry or needed a diaper change. I was so happy that she was already showing signs of being differnt from her sister. My husband and I told everyone that we must have been through the worst with our first kid and now we would get the more laid back kid. We couldn't have been more wrong!

My precious Madison already has been named "MAD MADI" from the family. She was a great baby, but the "terrible two's" set in when she turned 1 year old. From the time she learned to walk she was on the go and into everything. No matter how many times we tell her NO, she would still do it. No matter how many spankings or time outs, she still got in trouble. She is the child that bites/hits herself as well as others. She draws on the walls, throws things when mad and breaks things. She is a daredevil. She isnt afraid of anything new, and often wanders away laughing when we cant find her.

She definately makes me thankful for my hystorectomy. A child like my Madison would make anyone think twice about having more children :)