Born This Way *OR* Taught this way

Becoming pregnant after only four weeks of being with my husband ruled out the possibility for us to really get to know each other and how we felt about certain issues when it comes to raising kids. If there is one piece of advice I could give for my daughters it would be to [Get to know the man in your life before having children with him] because there are things that will arise in your relationship where it is imperative for you to agree on how to handle the situation.  I am not saying I regret my marriage or anything like that, I just wish I had that opportunity to sit down and discuss our beliefs, morals and values that we wanted to make sure to pass along to our children.

For some reason lately I have been thinking about situations with my kids in which my hubs and I have a tendency to disagree. It started with my oldest KENSI giving away her make-up (lip gloss she begged for) that the Easter bunny (me) gave her.

On one hand, i felt proud for her giving it to the little girl that rides the bus with her b/c she is less fortunate than and it is obvious she does without. On the other hand, i was very aggravated that she gave it away the very next day without my permission. This is not the first time she has done this and she did get into trouble the last time. I explained to her that if she wanted to give this little girl something she was to come to me first and get permission. Since I was at work when this event took place, she asked her father for permission to give it to her friend, obviously- he said "it's your make-up to do whatever you want to with it". I was furious! I do NOT agree. If I go out of my way to give my daughters things they ask for, I do not want them to turn around and give it away. I would not go out and buy it for them in the first place if I knew that would have happened.

After having a long conversation about this and many other things, we came to the conclusion that there are several things that we disagree on when it comes to raising our children. One in particular that I am unsure of how will turn out is the possibility of our (tom-boyish) youngest daughter becoming a lesbian. I know in my heart, I would love her just the same. I would be supportive and would stand by her side. The hubs, not so sure. Another, if our daughter wanted to date someone outside her race. This is an absolute big NO NO with MANY of my own family members AS WELL as with my hubs family BUT - I AM NOT RACIST. I have no problem with this issue. As long as my children are happy, healthy, and their significant other treats them with respect and as long as they have a desire to do well in life (college, career, family etc...) I will be supportive in whoever they choose to date.  The hubs, not certain.

SO - who determines what life lessons, morals, values we are to teach our children?

In some ways, I honestly don't think it matters. I know for a fact that you can grow up with a racist family and become a very open minded person (Yes, this is ME) and there are other times when you become just like the family you were raised by, having the same ideas about life and how you should live as if you were born in the 60's. CHILDREN are going to be THEMSELVES, not how WE WANT THEM TO BE.

The way I see it. . . I have certain things I want to make sure my girls are taught regarding Respecting other people and not judging people based on the color of their skin or how they look or even based on their sexual preference - I will teach my children about life 'the way I see it' and just pray they turn out to be Law Abiding citizens that will help the next generation be more open-minded to the FACT that GOD MADE US ALL UNIQUE AND GOD LOVES US ALL JUST THE WAY WE ARE therefore, we should LOVE ONE ANOTHER REGARDLESS