part two - who am i

I wonder if everyone thinks of themselves as being a good person? Do murderers in prison sit around thinking they are good citizans and should be released back into society? Do child abuisers think they are wonderfull parents? If you could step outside your body, mentally i guess, and get a look at yourself from other people's view would your perception of yourself change?

I have contemplated this very thought.  I like to think of myself as a good, caring, compastionate, Self-less person. Sure I have made mistakes I am not proud of, but does that make me a bad person? I think not. I have many good deeds that I do regulary, do they go un-noticed? When we have extra money I spend it first,  on my kids, or my husband, or even house-hold items, but very rarely on myself.  I give all my childrens outgrown clothing away to either other family members or to complete strangers. I donate toys and house-hold items to the Foundry, I give money or food to the homeless man that sits at the stop sign off Allison Bonnett Memorial drive exit, I watch other people's kids even when I really truely dont feel like doing it just because I know they need someone to do it, I offer to help people in areas I know they need it, I bite my tounge at certain people just to keep the peace, but yet I have been called selfish, & self-centered by several different people very recently.

How did I fall into that catagory? Do other people really perceive me as being a bad person? How could I possibly see myself as a good, caring person when so many people see me differently? 

I want to be a better person, a better mother, & a better wife. It hurts to hear how horrible people think I am, especially coming from specifically two people close to me, one I love very much and the other I have much respect for. I guess with this one all I can do is PRAY and ask God to show me the areas to improve on and start from there.