I think this is going to be a long one since I've had a day or two to sit around thinking about it.
During random gossiping you will almost always hear of a situation or a circumstance when someone says "OMG, she crossed the line with that!". I've been known to say it myself, about other people, a lot. Of course if you are familiar with my life and or my blogging you know all too well about my bad choices. I'm not one to claim to make all the right choices, I make no claim to perfection as No one should, No one is perfect.
To some people rules are meant to be broken and lines made to be crossed. While other people tip toe around lines and walk along borders trying not to cross them. Sometimes we as the not so perfect human race, we loose our balance and fall over but at what mindset is a person at that can walk up to a line and knowingly cross it without caring about how their actions are affecting other people involved?
As you already know I have tip toed around and even crossed some lines myself. Many times during the course of my marriage. Each time I crossed a line I can say that from my own personal experience I did so during a selfish phase. A phase that was set off by a misguided childhood full of chaos and instability, my long periods of untreated depression, and escalated by an underlying phycosis of bipolar disorder. All my problems seemed to begin around the fall and escalate around the first of the year then taper off around February or March. Doctors called it Seasonal Depression, my husband called it Bipolar long before I was diagnosed and everyone else just seems to think I'm a very selfish person.
My biggest line crossing was leaving my husband & children for a drug addict. We all know about this one but there have been other times I crossed lines during my marriage. I had several emotional affairs with other men, I will go more into that on another day. Back in October, I hit a breaking point in my head. I can only describe it as feeling controlled for most of my life, a time had come that I had to let go of everyone and everything that held me back from doing what I wanted to do. I wanted to find some control for myself. I just went about it the wrong way. Making mistake after mistake and not having a clue how to fix what problems I set up for myself. Am I saying that everyone that crosses lines is having a bipolar manic episode like I did, no way. Not at all. I believe you have to take a step back and look at a person's overall character. If their actions are typical of how they would react on any given day then they are just a self centered person.
There is more to crossing the line for my story. Other people crossed lines during all this chaos and they just don't get it. They don't know when to back off. That, or either they just don't care. My husband and I are trying to move on, slowly we are making progress. That is until "his other person" decided to pop back in. My other person has not tried to contact me, nor have I had any contact with people in Empire (that are not family that is). That is how it should be. It should be as if they didn't exists. I have enough going for me that reminds everyone of what I did, we don't need "the other person" right there poking and swooping back in.
So, my curiosity for this blog is wondering at what point should you step in and say something, if at all? My husband says, "give someone enough rope and let them hang themselves", I say stop it before it goes too far. He has always been the type to ignore problems hoping they will go away. Some problems (or people)don't go away that easily.
On the other hand, I have learned that sometimes stepping in just causes more problems but keeping my mouth shut has not always been a problem for me. I use to be the type of person that would sit back, cry and let people say whatever or do whatever they wanted to do (controlling me) no matter how it made me feel. This is the part of me that changed. I will stand up for what I believe, I will not always be right, but at least I will be in control. I will make mistakes but in life that's the only way to learn. I will stand up for my family, my friends, my kids and my husband.
To sum up how I feel at the end of this blogging session....
If you have crossed a line, with me, my husband, or anyone in my family that I care about,whether it be in the past or in the future, I will not keep my mouth shut. I will speak my mind. I will blog about my life and the people that have involved themselves in my situations. If you didn't want to be talked about then you should have made different choices.
I am dealing with the consequences of my bad choices, you should have thought about the consequences of yours.
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