What is my worth?

This is a question I've been asked during several job interviews, and it has also came up during some arguments with the hubs. He feels as though he supports me like a dependent, like a child & in return at times has tendencies of treating me like a child. I have worked some during our marriage, but I have also been raising his our two kids. It is not easy being a working mother but it sure is no walk in the park to be a SAHM either! Here is the run down of my working history during this marriage.

During my 7 years of marriage (will be 8 in April), I have worked off and on for 5 years. I began working when my oldest was about 2 weeks away from her first birthday. That job lasted 9 months. My boss sold the company and so I decided to quit work to go to college, this only lasted a year due to financial reasons (college isn't cheap). My boss needed me to come back to work for him after his assistant of 17 years was grieving the death of her oldest son (due to a car wreck), i obviously accepted. Only 3 months went by before I found out I was pregnant (the hubs & I had been trying to conceive), so of course after the birth of my second child I planned to quit working, however, this job was a total of 8 months because I was placed on bed rest toward the end of my pregnancy. Unfortunately, 3 months after the birth of our child my husband's company experienced layoffs and you guessed it...he was one of them. So I went back to work & he became a SAHD (Stay At Home Dad). About 3 weeks after getting a job paying minimum wage, my old boss called me up saying the girl I trained walk out and quit the job, Could I come back to work ? HELL YES! So, I had my job again. This time, it lasted 1 year & 5 months. After experiencing some marital problems and having long discussions with the hubs, we decided that me working wasn't necessary and the lack of time we had available to spend with one another was detrimental to our relationship which seemed to be falling apart so in a last resort to save our failing marriage, I quit my job once again. So, if you add that all up, in five years I worked a total of: 34 months = 2 years & 10 months of actually receiving a paycheck. As an Administrative Assistant, I know my worth. I know my strengths, my abilities & my skills that played a daily role in the productivity of the job.

One of my hubs biggest argument points is that " you don't contribute to the bills" or " I have to support you" and my favorite, "What is it that you do for ME?". I am his Partner!, Not his Dependent! Just because while being a stay at home mom I am not earning an income does not mean that I am not an equal contributor to this family. My work is at my home, for my family, my home is my office. As a stay at home mom, I think I know my worth yet I question it's value.

How do you place a dollar amount on a stay at home parent. Well, I look at the overall big picture, if I were working what would he be missing out on? If I were not around (God Forbid!) what changes would he have to make? Well here is the list I came up with based on weekly rates.

1. A Daycare, weekly average M-F 6am-6pm ($140 for my 3yr old/ $40 after school care for oldest)

2. A Nanny, for weekends & times beyond school hours to be here to help with homework, baths and playtime. (I guess approximately $200, weekends & nights would cost more)

3. A cook, someone to make sure the children get at least two cooked meals a day plus snacks. (Most good restaurants pay their su chef approximately $10 per hour, $120 per day X 7= $840)

4. A maid, someone to pick up after the children, to scrub the toilet & tub, to sweep & mop, wash dirty laundry, make sure there are clean dishes to eat & drink out of. ($340, i worked as one so I know exactly how much it would cost!)

5. A financial planner, someone to budget the money, & make sure the bills get paid. (These jobs pay big money, however I know the hubs mother would do this for free!)

& Lastly, lets not forget

6. A call girl, someone to satisfy his manly needs. (I know plenty of women that already flirt with him way too much as it is, so I am confident he could get this for free)

Where it stands If I were not here to help with our kids, hubs would be looking at spending around: $1,560 A WEEK! & These are approximate, not actual! Another factor is that It would be difficult to determine a dollar amount for these jobs considering my hubs works rotating shifts and does not work strictly Monday through Friday, he works weekends too. It would be difficult to find someone to fill these positions during weekend shifts & afternoon & night time hours & so, it's my guess that if he were able to find someone, their cost would be higher.

In conclusion, It is much easier to be a working mom because at least then you have a dollar amount on what you do. 

The way I see it....As a stay at home mom, my paychecks come in Smiles, Giggles & A/B honor roll on report cards. My worth in dollars.... A LOT MORE THAN MOST CAN AFFORD!